The adorable Ryan Bingham
So, I went in to work to get Jimmy Eat World tickets from my new BFF Ryan, aka the Promotions Director for Kink and he also had tickets for a show that night. What show you might ask? Actually, you probably aren’t asking that because you read the title of this blog and were able to deduce it. Either way, it was Ryan Bingham.
It was over the minute you got in my head,
used your words as weapons
now this fantasy is dead.
And it died a violent death,
begging on its knees,
praying until its last breath.
But you took it’s life,
without thinking twice.
We were never as close,
as when we were a world apart.
So I put my heart in a bottle,
and threw it far from this coast.
You have become a part of me,
like a tumor on my brain.
Your name is in every thought I think,
on every breath I breathe.
…and I want to be set free.
I want you,
but I want you gone.
I can’t keep waiting.
I can’t keep holding on.
You ruined me.
I was made of ice
You touched my skin
and made me melt
My heart was stone
You broke the spell
then asked me how it felt
I had no feelings
I didn’t care
A shell of a person
with no emotions
and a string of diversions
And you asked me how it felt?
I was scared
I was bruised
I was broken
I was used
(but I didn’t want to be in love)
I was fine
I was done
I was in denial
I was ready to run
(because I didn’t want to be in love)
You ruined me.
You warmed my heart
You ruined me.
Broke my walls apart
You ruined me.
Made me feel again
You ruined me.
So how do I explain?
That I don’t want to be in love.
You ruined me.
And I fell.
I fell hard
Now nothing is as good
Nothing feels right
If it’s not you
You lit a spark inside
and now I hold this torch
That never stops burning
That burns to damn bright
And you ask me how it felt?
Like I can’t breathe
Like it will never be enough
Like this is something that I need
Like I am dependent
Like I am insane
Like I need to be defensive
Like I can’t control my brain
You ruined me.
You warmed my heart
You ruined me.
Broke my walls apart
You ruined me.
Made me feel again
You ruined me.
So how do I explain?
That I don’t want to be in love.
You ruined me.
So I just pulled out what I thought was my high school journal, however it was actually my journal from sophomore year of college. And it is DEPRESSING. I loved a boy way too much and thought I was never going to get over it. I was not happy with myself. It was hard to read actually. But a good reminder of what hard work and time can accomplish. Hooray! So here I am now, wading through the depressing stuff and pulling out some of my best nuggets of wisdom from 06/07. Enjoy.
This summer has sucked, but I still like laser tagging.
Remember Josh Johnson. Room 210. Cool guy. (He bought me a sandwich when I worked at Candlewood)
Sean Madden-you better not have a kid, stupid face.
I can see Archana getting drunk all the time next year. (THIS HAPPENED)
I got tickets to Warped in Chicago, Indy, and Jack’s in Indy. Heck yes!
I went to the gynecologist today and found out that I have an elusive cervix.
…on the plus side, going to Warped in Chicago some guy said I had pretty eyes (The Nappannee party guy Archana! I forgot about him.) and on the way home from Indy I got a number from Sexy Ian after hanging my head out of Angie’s car and losing my sunglasses. Maybe that’s why I like meeting random people. There are no expectations with them.
I will read this later and be like “Fuck, I shouldn’t be so tied up in him”
We watched the Colts win today and Tampa Bay get shut out. Waha. Losers.
P.S. Radio might be kickass. (I wrote this 2 weeks into my first radio class…)
Sometimes I wish we wouldn’t have walked out of that game and into that bowling alley.
I want a home.
Then I got in a pit of guys for Baby Blue. Aha. A shining moment in my concert history. (I forgot about this show that ended up being all acoustic since the drummer had a family emergency).
And I never even found that damn Jamba Juice, AGAIN, but what a good time! (Not finding Jamba Juices after hours of looking is sort of my specialty).
Since when is work talking online and reading articles? Punkass trick. (???)
Dear Jenna, save money so you can travel…and stop being so fat. (Thank the heavens above I stopped being such an asshole to myself over the past 7 years. Some of these, actually most of these writings are horrifying).
Tis ’07 and John is being a douche so I am ignoring him.
I really just gotta let everything go and live for me.
So, let’s talk about COMPACT DISCS! I am a Sentimental Sally so of course I have albums that I love strictly because of the fact that they were representative of some area of my life. Let me just start this blog off by saying thanks to ANDY SCHNEPP for sticking things in my box…my dropbox. I annoy him for CDs all of the time. And he even throws in tidbits of wisdom such as , “go to the kitchen and find something to make a sandwich with so you don’t get rusty” and “thats fine, rely on your looks to get you through life. works for me!”
Something magical happened to me this weekend. I found Sasquatch (or as we like to call it in the Midwest, Bigfoot). However, I am not talking about the mythical (or extremely real and terrifying) creature. I am talking about this glorious stage located on the beautiful gorge in George, Washington.
Remember my last blog about running? No? Well here is a refresher:
http://operationgradschool.com/2013/05/18/432/
I have been told that is the best blog I have ever written. Just throwing that out there.
Well let me tell you why I don’t run unless I absolutely have too. Today I was running late. This meant that I had 10 minutes to get to the street car. It takes me about 14 at a fast pace. I walk with purpose. So I drove half way there and walked the rest of the way. I couldn’t miss this street car because the next one came in 30 minutes and I had to be in class at 10. I am a TA, you know, I have to be professional (ha).
